Wednesday, June 23, 2004  

What's the Musical Version of Learning Disabled?

So after spending a week with the inimitable Sam Walters, I've decided that my CD collection needs a major, major overhaul. Sam's back seat is littered with CD's, all of which he knows and loves. I saw him find Motorhead's "Ace of Spades" by feel. He knows which CD's are cracked in which way. I, on the other hand, have a veritable shitload of CD's that I either bought for one song or have never actually listened to. Some I bought because every other hipster seemed to own them, some I bought because I liked the name or something. Either way, it's painfully clear that I am musically retarded. My wife, with whom I've conceived two children, to whom I've declared my eternal love and devotion, for whom I've bought a house, will not even let her CD's touch mine, as if letting a Dead Can Dance disc rub up against Blue Oyster Cult's greatest hits will sully it somehow.

I try. I really try. But I grew up in Colorado Springs, listening to KILO-94, and entire genres of music passed me right by. I used to tune in a college station from Denver after midnight, like a guy in East Berlin trying to get the Voice of America. I used to have tons of shitty Radio Shack cassettes loaded with crackly college rock. But it was a college station, and those assholes never COME ON THE GODDAMN AIR to tell you what you're listening to. Someone (to this day I don't know who) did a cover of Sympathy for the Devil that still stands out in my mind. The only band I ever did hear a name for was Sisters of Mercy; Temple of Love was the song. That did help me find the only goth club in Colorado Springs, which gave me an immediate and permanent love (and lust) for goth girls, which did lead me to my wife, so I guess in its way, the universe is unfolding as it should. My musical dipshittiness led me to true love.

In college, I met the St. Francis of record geeks, a Mr. Steve Luc, who made me some mix tapes that went a long way towards filling in the musical gaps Colorado Springs left behind. He claims he's making me a new mix CD. Thank you, Jeebus.

Still, I have to unload some CDs and get new ones. Suggestions are welcome; hell, they're necessary. More than one person has recommended Franz Ferdinand, and while listening on Amazon, I've been clicking the "also recommended" and "you might like" links, and I find myself in an emo minefield, completely out of my depth.

Help this poor musical simpleton. Please. And if you know who might have done that cover of Sympathy for the Devil, I'll give you a free CD. One of mine...not one of the used ones I'm dumping.