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The McIntire Conspiracy
"It's better to be loved by the righteous few than to be liked by a lukewarm many."
- Noble
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Monday, March 07, 2005
Steinbrenner's Weather Machine
George Steinbrenner must have a weather machine. It's the only explanation. He must have dipped into his Turtleneck Fund and hired some renegade Iraqi scientists to build a device to bury Boston under a blanket of snowy retribution. It's time to say out loud what we all know unconsciously: this winter will never end. It will snow twice a week for the rest of our lives, and it's all Mark Bellhorn's fault. The earth is out of balance, and we are paying the price. 86 years without a title was just the down payment, man. We'll be paying this one off longer than if we'd bought a TV at one of those "rent to own" places. Meanwhile, I've had a cold for three straight months, and I believe I've evolved a new organ in the back of my throat whose sole purpose is to generate great gobs of phlegm the color and consistency of kindergarten paste.
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