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The McIntire Conspiracy
"It's better to be loved by the righteous few than to be liked by a lukewarm many."
- Noble
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Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Black Tape for a Blue America
Bush may declare martial law in half an hour, but as of right now, he and Karl Rove can chomp my hog. YOU HEAR ME, KARL? CHOMP IT!
I am positively giddy today. The only thing preventing me from drinking on my lunch break is, well, actually, nothing. I wonder if Bukowski's has wifi...
But I digress. I intended to write a long, insightful, and personal piece about the glorious wave of Democrats that broke over this country last night, but frankly, that's going to cut into my do-the-humpy-dance-of-victory-in-my-boxer-briefs time, so this will be quick.
I thought I was happy last week, when Ted Haggard got busted for being a fabulously gay meth freak, but as it turns out, Ted Haggard was just a delicious appetizer for last night's smorgasboard of whoopass. Don't get me wrong: that son of a bitch helped ruin my hometown, and I'm sure both Jesus and the Buddha would be gravely disappointed in my lack of compassion for him and his family, but while the Christian-flavored schadenfreude was scrumptious, it was but a piquant amuse-bouche for today, where I'm pretty much just drinking gravy out of the china boat and washing it down with ice-cold PBR.
GODDAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA LIBERAL!
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