Friday, January 30, 2004  

Oscar Hyperbole

(That might be my new fake name for calling comedy clubs, actually...)

But I digress. I can't take any more drippy praise for Charlize Theron in Monster. Maybe it's a great movie. I don't know. I have a 2-year old, so I don't get to see movies. But I keep hearing about HOW BRAVE she was for letting them make her up to look so ugly.

That's right. She's SO BRAVE because she had the guts to LOOK LIKE THE REST OF US for a while. Fuck you, mister fireman. You're not so brave after all. Charlize PUT ON WEIGHT and had BLOTCHY SKIN for 3 whole weeks! Don't you know sacrifice when you see it? Don't you recognize selflessness? For a HOT CHICK to look like REGULAR PEOPLE...I'm sorry...I can't go on. My tears are ruining my shirt.

Who Knew?

Ross Garmil, close personal friend and co-creator of the Grand High Council has a blog, which has apparently been up and running for a while.

Uh, Ross...?

Day Job Danger

Oh, god, here we go again. I've hit that point in the life cycle of every day job that marks the beginning of the endgame. Right now, I am so bored I'm dizzy, and yet so overwhelmed with work I want to barf and cry, in that order. I'm completely disengaged, completely fucking off, and spending too much time loading and reloading and reloading the Kvetch Board, Penny Arcade, or the William Gibson board, praying to Christ Above that something, anything, interesting is happening somewhere in my narrow little window on the world. I have near-erotic daydreams about buying a pack of cigarettes and just sitting in Cambridge Common and chainsmoking my life away while the stupid phone just rings and rings and the spoiled rich fucks I work for collectively get the message and go pound sand.

WHY FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK CAN I NOT JUST BE A COMEDIAN?

Conspiracy Lite

I am currently working my way through Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code, which I am hereby dubbing "Focault's Pendulum for Dummies." That's probably not entirely fair, but I still haven't forgiven Mr. Brown (echoes of Reservoir Dogs) for taking the Priory of Sion mainstream.

For about a decade, I've been interested in the Priory, the Bloodline of Jesus, the Knights Templar, the Masons, Egyptian symbology, secret societies, the Rosicrucians, and so forth. I've bought dozens of books from bunches of sketchy bookstores, combed the web for some seriously freaky sites, and grooved on the conspiracy of it all at 3:00 am. And now, there it all is, just laid out for the good ladies of Oprah's Book Club. It's like when your favorite band becomes an overnight sensation, and suddenly 12-year old girls at the mall are rocking out to YOUR MUSIC. All that said, it's a good read. He certainly knows what he's talking about, even if his plot is a little stock so far. I get the impression this book was written with an eye towards selling the screen rights easily.