tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57690782008-01-08T15:37:01.760-05:00Timmy MacBlogger389125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-85777147191164714782008-01-08T15:30:00.000-05:002008-01-08T15:37:01.795-05:00

Far be it from me to be happy for a Yankee, but dammit, how often does a guy whose family lived on your street go to the Hall of Fame? Congrats, Mr. Gossage...thanks for making us Wasson alums look good.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-63430367965332519132007-12-19T09:43:00.000-05:002007-12-28T15:47:06.276-05:00

I currently have exactly 666 MySpace friends, and I'm not about to add any new ones. Don't take this personally, but I can't imagine anyone out there cool enough to justify wrecking that number. Rose McGowan, maybe, and even then I'd boot someone to keep the number intact (crappy techno band from Nebraska with stupid name but hot lead singer, I'm looking in your direction). EDIT: Okay, I held

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-35754801274819587582007-10-25T09:03:00.000-04:002007-10-25T09:05:27.362-04:00

A photo snapped in my parents' basement the moment the Twins won the World Series in 1987. Posted without further comment, though you should all take a moment to bask in the glory of my tail.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-62494736577908395692007-10-18T10:21:00.000-04:002007-10-18T14:06:51.760-04:00

Hey - just to clarify something here. I've gotten a bunch of emails and such from people who read yesterday's post and feel bad for me or who think I'm really that unhappy with m'life. Nothing could be further from the truth. I just wanted to bust a friend's balls, and I needed that setup to make the "life vampire" thing work. So thanks for the concern, but I'm fine, really. I didn't expect

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-11350958946100400242007-10-17T08:36:00.001-04:002007-10-17T09:29:53.577-04:00

Then you catch a glimpse of yourself in the window on the Orange Line on your way into work, your hollow, baggy eyes staring back at you, the sheen of night sweats still evaporating after six swirling hours of tortured baseball dreams, and you think, "How did it come to this?" Right there, on the inbound train, wedged between a fat woman that smells like Fancy Feast and an old man muttering

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-79075156863895038072007-10-13T07:44:00.000-04:002007-10-13T08:11:12.945-04:00

I am such a slobbering fan of Jack Sparks that he stopped answering my awkward and probably subtextually homoerotic emails long ago, and I don't blame him for that. The unsolicited ravings of a drunk are a dime a dozen to a guy who writes this well. That said, the man is sporadically posting his Top 100 Country Songs ten at a time, and numbers 11-20 just went up. Dig: I'm talking about 4

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-29340682952678429752007-10-11T10:35:00.000-04:002007-10-11T10:45:37.565-04:00

I recently filmed a short spot with Nina Simonds from Spices of Life. She's wonderful and kooky and I had a blast. Who knew you could have that much fun in a Roche Brothers? Here's a teaser: Click on the link to Nina's site to see the whole thing.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-30913628000250183552007-10-08T08:04:00.000-04:002007-10-10T09:16:56.747-04:00

Jesus Christ. If I didn't hate Dane Cook before, I sure do after watching about a thousand of his promo spots during this week's baseball playoffs, and it's not just because he says "Oct-O-ber" like he's in the middle of taking a dump. He just sounds weird, man. It's like his cadence and rhythm are off; it doesn't sound the least bit natural. It really honestly sounds like he's never actually

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-51567771388919153172007-09-27T11:39:00.000-04:002007-09-27T11:47:12.389-04:00

So I made a total tactical blunder today. Number One Son loves buses, and has gotten it into his obsessive little noggin that we should buy one of our own. When I said I didn't have a license for a bus, he said I could go to school and learn. When I said the police probably wouldn't let us drive one around, he said we could just park it and play in it. As a last ditch effort, I said we

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-50814823132688915082007-08-02T09:17:00.000-04:002007-08-02T09:21:04.491-04:00

For the record; someone was nice enough to make this for me back before I had my own camera, and while I am grateful for that, I just wanted to be sure everyone knew it's not me who misspelled "yin."

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-57984585739905059042007-07-28T18:45:00.001-04:002007-07-28T18:48:15.936-04:00

My man Rob Reuter is blogging the crap out of Comic-Con with all the panache of a young Hunter Thompson rolling with the Hell's Angels. If you are as cynical as you are dorky, you gotta read this stuff. And he's got something HST didn't have: an equally-talented and more-cynical better half, who's blogging the piss out of the thing herself. They're like the Sid and Nancy of the Filksinging

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-92033156120037791012007-07-25T06:02:00.000-04:002007-07-25T06:13:17.624-04:00

I don't know if anyone else caught them there YouTube debates, but I did, and I was really impressed by more than one Democratic wannabe. Of course, I tend to get carried away with such things - my friends very kindly never bring up the "Nader Years," kind of the same way you never bring up a buddy's crazy bitch ex-girlfriend. Anyway, even I think it's important to remember that the politician

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-67306286709884834322007-07-04T08:22:00.002-04:002007-07-05T14:08:14.864-04:00

But I am hosting the 10:00 comedy showcase at Jimmy Tingle's Off-Broadway this Friday and Saturday. You should come. They have beer.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-27159706756659103972007-07-02T18:23:00.000-04:002007-07-02T18:41:14.490-04:00

So, do I have this right? There was a movie called Hairspray and then someone made a musical out of it and called it Hairspray and then someone made a movie out of the musical and called it Hairspray? That even puts the Friends/Coupling/Coupling troika to shame for sheer Hollywood madness. Also, I noticed on the poster for the current iteration of Hairspray (the movie of the musical of the

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-27535130257406453662007-06-28T16:01:00.000-04:002007-06-29T08:18:02.527-04:00

Attention, dorks! Standing in line for an iPhone puts you in the same intellectual category as the people who gather to see Paris Hilton get out of jail. Wearing an ironic faux-vintage t-shirt while you camp out to shop doesn't make you any less of a media-manipulated tool, Apple junkies. You roll with the mouthbreathers. EDIT: Goddammit. Every time I think I've written something halfway

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-22058586511797730932007-06-26T23:12:00.001-04:002007-06-26T23:15:49.006-04:00

It is like 9,000 degrees in my house, and all I have the energy to do is drink beer just barely faster than I sweat it out and watch Kason Gabbard suck in Seattle. The only way I know the beer is affecting me at all is that I just yelled at the TV: "Your name is Kason and you're not even black!" My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-60410635191752559472007-06-15T11:08:00.000-04:002007-06-15T11:11:49.165-04:00

There's nothing I like better than a good internet dust-up, especially when it involves my friend Max Silvestri and the representatives of a "reality celebrity." NOTE: The fact that someone can BE a "reality celebrity" who engages the services of "reputation managment" is proof that we live in a truly fucked society that deserves to slide into the ocean.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-24899037323861425942007-06-06T15:04:00.000-04:002007-06-06T15:09:17.077-04:00

From my Gmail chat: me: Hey...you're a young cyber-type guy with no day job, right? Sent at 2:53 PM on Wednesday Max: at the moment, yeah whattaya got? me: Well, I am dying to hear a particular song... However I am at work And therefore cannot hit the ol' Limewire log into a legal online retailer and get it. You, being a pirate and a scofflaw Could possibly find me Ryan Adams singing Wonderwall.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-76245238993690013152007-06-03T15:33:00.000-04:002007-06-03T15:37:38.277-04:00

Confidential to fans of the Geek Council who may be wondering what happened to the Archnemesis after his plans were thwarted once and for all: He's in New York City (like all things evil) and singing Beatles covers.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-31473744535827348622007-05-26T07:12:00.000-04:002007-05-26T07:14:27.021-04:00

Here's a short video from last night's show at the Kowloon (daddy got a new video camera!). Watch it and then read below: Decent joke, but the funny part is that if you watch closely, you can see that I get my thumb stuck in the mike stand and spend most of the joke trying to get it out!

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-9204079101736029482007-05-24T08:34:00.000-04:002007-05-24T09:12:07.061-04:00

In 2001, Mike Baker and I got invited to the Chicago Comedy Festival. It was your typical industry circle jerk, with hot young comics all vying for the opportunity to show other hot young comics just who was the hottest. Everything I hate about showbiz was there in full effect: the phoniness, the egomania, the empty boasts, the desperation. Every conversation you'd have with someone would

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-82595201067416337142007-05-21T10:33:00.000-04:002007-05-21T10:53:57.104-04:00

First and foremost, the Laugh4Paul Benefit this weekend was aces. Great comics, great crowd, great cause. And while everyone was hilarious, I have become a Chris Tabb fanatic. Guy drips with talent. Anyway, Jim Blumenfeld gets MAJOR kudos for pulling this off. Occasionally, comedy stops breaking your heart, even if just for a little while. And this picture from the night (taken by this

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-47908207313220366262007-05-03T09:37:00.000-04:002007-05-03T09:51:54.009-04:00

I started the day yesterday with an email from a friend saying one my jokes was so good, he wanted to use it for a column he writes for a local paper. I ended the day yesterday with an email from a different friend saying one of my jokes was so hack I should be embarassed to do it. That, my friends, is showbiz in a nutshell.

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-72755174533234161922007-05-01T12:11:00.000-04:002007-05-01T12:14:31.004-04:00

So it's been years since I've really pissed off an audience. When I was a younger comic, I dug mightily the whole confrontational/Bill Hicks type thing. Now I'm old and fairly lame, and very rarely do I push that edge. So imagine my surprise the other night when my bit about trying to throw away a trash can ended with a man standing up in the audience, hollering at me at the top of his lungs,

Timmy Mactag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5769078.post-32022185693563356382007-04-30T11:31:00.000-04:002007-04-30T11:32:35.196-04:00

Dig it, freaks. A new comic project from my man Chumworth, a hell of a comedy writer and a goddamn good human being. Jump on the bandwagon now, because it's going to get crowded soon.

Timmy Mac