Wednesday, November 29, 2006  

N-Bombs, Stuffing, and the Ghost of Lenny Bruce

My Thanksgiving was spent exactly like yours, I'd reckon. Gluttony, sloth, intoxication and football. A wine buzz and gravy on my shirt while trying to wrangle the knuckleheads into bed while they spun and jittered from an eight-hour pie binge.

The only difference between you and me, I suppose, is that in all likelihood, you didn't have to have twelve iterations of a conversation that started with, "So, Tim...you're a comedian. What do you think about Michael Richards?"

What do I think about Michael Richards? The guy screamed "nigger" at black people about fifteen times. I think he's an asshole.

I'm not sure what sort of perspective people were looking for from me; I don't know what sort of comic calculus they expected me to perform or what sort of industry insight I might provide that would let them breathe a sigh of relief and go on thinking Kramer's just a wacky neighbor and not a rage-filled racist.

Yeah, racist. I mean, I don't know the guy. I don't know that he has any longstanding dislike of black people, but the way I see it, you call a guy a nigger, you gotta wear the racist jacket.

All that said, though, I have to admit that part of me hesitates to condemn the guy, because frankly, I've lost it on stage a time or two myself. Lost. It. I've written before about how I snapped on a woman (on her birthday, no less). I've also flown off the stage with every intention of punching a heckler in the face, and would have were it not for a well-timed shoulder check by the feature act. I've never gone racial, but that's about the only moral high ground I occupy. When you're rolling up there, and in that beautiful, dangerous, creative headspace, if somebody comes at you hard, a whole range of things to say pop into your head, you know? Do you blow it off? Make fun of his shirt? Call his wife fat? Call him a name? Drop the n-bomb? HOW BAD DO YOU WANT TO GO NUCLEAR ON HIM?

You can hit a point where you don't care about the show and you don't care about the funny. Stanhope's right: you pick the cruelist thing you can say, and you say it, whether you mean it or not. I've done it. More than once. The only difference is that I did it mostly before the age of the cameraphone. It's different now. You have a freakout and someone's going to try to make their YouTube bones off you.

My point, dear reader, is that I've redlined, too, and it would be hypocritical for me not to acknowledge it. Maybe that's what happened with Michael Richards. I don't know. Doesn't change the fact that he said what he said and he has to own it.

On the other hand, Jamie Masada's plan to fine comics for "hateful language" is about the dumbest response I can imagine. We've come full circle. Once again, Lenny Bruce wouldn't be able to work the Comedy Store (to say nothing of Richard Pryor). Masada wants Richards to pay $500,000 for each time he said "nigger." That's a lotta cake, and a lot of younger comics just can't swing that.

Maybe there will be a sliding scale fee structure. Less affluent comics couldn't afford to drop the n-bomb, but maybe they could find a less inflammatory, yet more affordable, racial slur that fits their act AND their budget. You could pay when you come offstage. "Let's see here...that's two jigaboos, a zipperhead, and a greaser. That'll be $92.50. Come back next week! We're having a special on "beaner!"

Comedy works best when restrictions are kept at a minimum. A comedy show's a weird thing, and what seems fine what night can seem patently offensive the next. It's alchemical. You can't possibly predict or contain it. But in Richards' case, the current system worked perfectly. He crossed a line, people left, and the club refunded their money. If Jamie Masada was really that concerned about it, he would have fired Richards and not let him work the next night (a point I just blatantly stole from "Jim Jones" over on the forums). A fine-per-word system is about the stupidest thing I ever heard. Not only does it not make any case for context (I assume Chris Rock's "Niggers and Black People" bit would suddenly become way too pricey to do), but it's an absolute insult to the legacy of guys like Bruce and Pryor and Hicks.

I guess what I'm saying is please don't restrict MY speech because Michael Richards is a racist asshole and a bad comic.

So how was your Thanksgiving?

Labels: comedy, hecklers, kramer, michael richards, race, standup