Wednesday, December 19, 2007  

This Is For The Record

I currently have exactly 666 MySpace friends, and I'm not about to add any new ones. Don't take this personally, but I can't imagine anyone out there cool enough to justify wrecking that number. Rose McGowan, maybe, and even then I'd boot someone to keep the number intact (crappy techno band from Nebraska with stupid name but hot lead singer, I'm looking in your direction).

EDIT: Okay, I held out a whole week before I found a band I liked so much, I had to friend 'em and wreck the coolness.

Labels: blueheels, music, myspace

More Sparks

I am such a slobbering fan of Jack Sparks that he stopped answering my awkward and probably subtextually homoerotic emails long ago, and I don't blame him for that. The unsolicited ravings of a drunk are a dime a dozen to a guy who writes this well. That said, the man is sporadically posting his Top 100 Country Songs ten at a time, and numbers 11-20 just went up.

Dig:

I'm talking about 4 minute ditties on booze and ghosts and pork rinds, and shit like that. It's okay to waste your parents' money on lift tickets and low quality ecstasy at Bela Fleck shows that last 5 hours and consist of 3 songs, but please leave The Gourds out of all that nonsense. Their bass player doesn't take pictures of little girls in boat houses and their drummer doesn't play vacuum cleaners.

That's what we call writing, my friends. You must go read. Any Top 100 Country list that has the stones to put a TOOL song at number 16 is worth taking as seriously as a sweaty meth freak with a shotgun, and for kind of the same reasons.

Labels: country, jack sparks, music

More King Hell!!!

Where you gonna be tonight around 11:00, fuckers? Some wretched indie rock snakepit, filled with trucker hats and carefully hidden affluence? Some heinous yuppie knifefight, all zinfandel and anal corncobs? Staying at home in your sad little hovel watching choppy internet gonzo porn?

Snap out of it!

Tonight, Sam Walters and the rest of King Hell bring their crazy, swirling mix of heavy metal, funk, and rhythm & blues to the Bulfinch Yacht Club in Boston. They go on at 11:00, and you should be there to see it.

You will remember Sam Walters, of course, as the heavy metal knucklehead I used to do comedy gigs with and who went above and beyond on my old Thursday Night Fights show by painting his dick red, white and blue and covering it with stars on the anniversary of 9/11.

My point, of course, is that it's going to be a hell of a show, and the audience should be packed with lots of Boston comics (note to self: this may not be a selling point) there to see our little Sammy Walters, all growed up. Kinda.

Labels: king hell, live shows, music, walters